Two years have quickly passed but the pain is still here. I often think of Luke and smile; I know he is right beside me. The memories scroll through my mind like a movie on replay. While I smile, laugh and appreciate the time we had together, I always feel like it was never enough. Because it wasn't.
My heart hurts today and I would give anything to be pulled into him again, with my head on his chest for one last hug and an, "I love you little one".
I remember telling him that I was planning to buy a ring for Shanna and the huge smile that broke out across his face. He loved her so very much, but somehow trusted me enough to know I would take good care of her. And I hope he thinks I am doing a good job.
I imagine that he watches over us all of the time, cheering us on and sending little reminders our way to remind us that he is still here, inside of us.
There is a Jewish Yahrzeit Memorial Candle burning in our house for him today. Because I don't know what else to do.
Why we get challenged with certain things in life, I will never know. But a challenge this is, for all that loved him so dearly. So we have all come together and become one big family through all of the pain and suffering, the memories and healing. At least one good thing came of this tragic loss. And for that, I know he is grateful.
Rest in peace, Lukie.
KIA 25 September 2007, Afghanistan
